THE UNIVERSITY WILL BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT ITS NEW BUDGET PLAN ONLY WITH DIRECT QUOTATIONS FROM GERTRUDE STEIN’S TENDER BUTTONS
Q: Has student feedback been sought on these cuts?
A: There was a whole collection made. A damp cloth, an oyster, a single mirror, a manikin, a student, a silent star, a single spark, a little movement and the bed is made. This shows the disorder, it does, it shows more likeness than anything else, it shows the single mind that directs an apple. All the coats have a different shape, that does not mean that they differ in color, it means a union between use and exercise and a horse.
REASONS YOU MIGHT DIE OF CONSUMPTION IN A 19TH-CENTURY NOVEL, IN ORDER FROM LEAST LIKELY TO MOST LIKELY
You fell in love with someone who is richer than you are.
You got lost in the moors in the rain.
You work in a mill.
You are a prostitute.
SUPER SHORT CLIFFSNOTES FOR ALL CLASSIC NOVELS
A. Protagonist dies of alienation.
B. Protagonist succumbs to the prison of society.